I remember attending a conference, and the speaker talked about the terms we use in Christianity and how sometimes they can be confusing. In some situations, we are told to hold on. Other times, we are told to let go. Well, which one is it? How do we know which one we are supposed to do at any given moment?
We can say the same thing about letting go and giving up. In some ways, they may appear similar, yet they are vastly different. In both cases, you are releasing something. However, the thoughts, feelings, and emotions attached to these decisions underscore the differences between letting go and giving up. It also matters how we view these two things: letting go is often seen as positive, while giving up is often seen as negative.
As I was writing this article, I realized that this may be a difficult topic for some people. Especially if you have given up or feel you are about to. I want you to know my prayer is these words will become a source of inspiration to help you get up and keep going. Make sure you keep reading to the end because once we look at these five differences, there is a word of encouragement and hope for you, even if you have given up or are on the verge of giving up.
Here are five key differences between giving up and letting go.
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When you let go of something, you are making a conscious decision coming from a place of acceptance. You let go because continuing that attitude or behavior prevents you from progressing. When you give up, there comes a sense of defeat or resignation. It’s not that you could not keep going, but you chose not to. Let me give you two examples from scripture to help you.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1)
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
In this verse in Hebrews, the author encourages us to let go of what prevents us from becoming who God has called us to be and doing what he has called us to do. You accept these entanglements are not good, so you let them go for something better.
In the verse in Galatians, you are already doing what is good, but you can become tired while doing it. This may lead you to want to give up. In these cases, the person letting go has a mindset that desires to press ahead, while giving up comes from a mindset of someone who has had enough.
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When you let go, you release control of a situation. You still have a vested interest in the outcome, but you release that outcome to God. You may continue to pray for the situation and do your best, but you are no longer trying to force it to happen. This can happen in a marriage situation where there is something your spouse is doing (or not doing), and you want them to change. You do everything you can to get them to change. You leave notes, remind them of things, and give obvious hints, yet nothing changes. In this instance, letting go happens when you realize you cannot change them and leave the outcome to God. You still pray and are vested in the marriage, but you no longer try to make the change happen yourself.
When you give up, you release your hope in the situation and no longer care how it turns out. In the same marital example I just used, giving up brings you to a place of resignation, and your attitude becomes I don’t care anymore; do what you want to do. When this happens, you stop praying and check out. Any hope of change disappears.
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When you let go of something, there is often a sense of freedom attached to letting it go. If you remember, in Hebrews 12, the writer encourages us to release things weighing us down. You feel lighter and liberated when you let go of those things. The lifted weight gives you freedom from what you are holding on to. I remember how I felt after struggling with unforgiveness for a long time. The moment I let the unforgiveness go, I felt a weight lifted and the freedom that came with it. It made me wonder why I had waited so long to do this.
On the other hand, when you give up, there is a sense of failure attached to it. Ironically, that failure can become something you carry around, preventing you from running the race God has for you. Sometimes, when you give up, you don’t just give up on that one thing; you may give up on everything. Instead of seeing it as a momentary instance, you can take on that failure as an identity. Should that happen, you severely hamper your ability to move forward in your walk with God.
After Peter denied Jesus, he ran away and wept bitterly. I am sure he probably felt like a failure and wanted to give up. However, after the resurrection, Jesus restored Peter completely. His story was not finished, and he became the man God had desired him to be all along. Don't label yourself as a failure if you have given up on something. God can restore you and help you keep moving forward in the race he has for you.
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When you let things go, especially giving them to God, peace often accompanies that decision.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7
The process of prayer and petition involves letting go, or at least it is supposed to. In prayer, this is when you say, “I will not try to handle this anymore on my own.” Amazingly, God protects your heart with his peace when you do this.
By comparison, when you give up, a sense of sadness is attached to it. That sadness may result from feelings of wasted time or feelings of failure. There is no sense of peace because you may feel you let down God, yourself, or the people around you.
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The last thing to consider when looking at these differences is that people who let go usually think about what is ahead. Remember, one reason they let go is because they are focusing on a better future outcome. People who give up may be stuck looking behind. It becomes difficult to move ahead because they often wrestle with their decision to give up. When this happens, we can lay foundations where we give up. Instead of them being temporary, we move in and make them permanent.
Perhaps the biggest challenge with recognizing these differences is that they are internal. People usually see the choice, but they don’t see the motivation behind it. Sometimes, people confuse letting go with giving up, and the reverse is also true. For that reason, it matters to examine your own heart to know if you have let go or given up.
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If you have given up, you may experience those feelings of hopelessness or grief. I want to encourage you with two scriptures because there is hope for you.
“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.” (Proverbs 24:16a)
If you have given up, then it’s time to get back up. The truth is that the game is not over yet. If you are still here, then God has a purpose for your life. What you must now do is let go of those past failures and move forward. The best part is that you have a faithful God, and if you allow him, he will help you get up and keep going.
As you think about your life today, I want to remind you of God’s great love for you and his faithfulness and commitment to you. I can assure you of one thing. Even if you have given up on yourself, God will never give up on you.
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)
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This article is part of our larger resource library of Christian questions important to the Christian faith. From core beliefs to what the Bible says about angels, we want to provide easy to read and understand articles that answer your questions about Christian living.
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