7 Paths to a Judgment-Free Mindset

1. Remember, we’ve all sinned.

It would do us all good to remember Romans 3:23, a foundational truth that can keep us focused on God’s grace and forgiveness: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” That’s why we feel judgmental toward others, right? Because of ways they’ve sinned or continue to? Yet God extended grace to you and me in our sin and when we see another in the trenches we once inhabited, that should cause us to feel compassionate, not judgmental. 

Remember we have all sinned and rather than setting your jaw in a judgmental scowl at someone else, send up a praise to God for His forgiveness that has been extended to you and all who confess their sins (1 John 1:9 NASB).

Photo Credit: ©GettyImagesRawpixel 

2. Realize we all struggle with something.

If you feel judgmental toward other Christians when you see them proclaiming Christ but not appearing to live like it, keep in mind that you have been saved by God’s grace, and so has that other person, and God expects you to show that same grace toward others that He continues to show toward you. He also expects you to live as you are expecting others to live. We all struggle with something, but others’ sins might be more apparent, or might be something you discovered through someone else’s gossip. Yet, is their struggle something you can be judgmental of when you have struggles of your own? Their sin is between them and God, just like you’d like to keep yours between you and God. 

Rather than frown on someone else’s behavior, addiction, or apparent lack of convictions, realize you, too, struggle with something that others may be looking down upon as well. Just as I wouldn’t want anyone judging my husband or daughter, without knowing anything about their lives, each person I start to judge is someone else’s husband, wife, son, or daughter, whom I might know nothing about. Rather than be judgmental, consider someone’s struggle and remember your own.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/kieferpix 

3. Remove your own log first.

Jesus said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye” (Luke 6:41-42 ESV). 

Just as we all have sinned, and we all struggle with something, we all have splinters or full wooden beams in our own eyes that we need to remove before pulling an inspection on someone else and their shortcomings. We tend to put degrees on sin and not see how vile our own sin is in God’s eyes. She’s living with her boyfriend, but my sin is only gossip, you may think. She’s got a temper that’s out of control, but I went off at my own children and wish I hadn’t. At least I didn’t do it in public, you may rationalize. When we ask God to constantly convict our hearts of our own sins before Him, we will be less aware of and less concerned with the sins, hypocrisies, and shortcomings of others.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

4. Repent of a critical heart.

Jesus told His followers, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned” (Luke 6:37 NASB). 

The religious leaders of Jesus’ day possessed hard hearts and mercilessly judged others. They were self-righteous, believing they were without sin and completely unaware, or unconcerned, of their own sin of pride. They clearly cared only about the law and not about love. Ask God to soften your heart and remove your critical spirit and make you more careful to love others than criticize them. Ask Him to help you extend in love toward those you would otherwise instantly want to criticize or complain about. 

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Sakorn Sukkasemsakorn 

5. Remain quiet.

We are commanded in God’s Word: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (Ephesians 4:29-30 NIV).  Scripture is telling us that God’s heart is actually grieved when we fail to put a stopper on speech that tears down others. 

Don’t let judgmental words slip from your lips. Don’t hold them unspoken in your heart, either. Before speaking aloud, pause to ask yourself Will verbalizing these thoughts uplift someone else and please my Lord? If the answer is no, remain silent.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Sinenkiy 

6. Replace your judgmental thoughts with prayer.

When we see others as God does, we see wounded people impacted by sinful people or the sin in this world (or both). Does that woman display a bitter edge? What wounds might she have experienced that have caused her bitterness?   Is he a complete jerk with an anger problem? What insecurities lurk in his past or what feels out of control in his life currently so that he feels he must overcompensate and make others miserable?  Our dysfunctional behavior and outright sin often comes down to our outward expression of inner pain. That is not an excuse for our sin, but a reason to pray for others, rather than instantly harbor a judgmental mindset. 

When we pray for others, our hearts soften toward them. We can’t hold anger or judgment in our hearts toward someone we are bringing before the Lord. God changes us through our prayers, which we originally hoped would change others. Instead of resorting to judgment, pause and pray instead.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/imtmphoto 

7. Return to an appreciation of the cross.

In Luke 7, we read of a woman with a sinful reputation in the community, who crashed an all-male dinner party with Jesus and some religious leaders by sneaking in and coming up behind Jesus and sobbing so hard that her tears soaked His feet. Then she began to anoint His feet with expensive perfume and dry His feet with her hair, all while sobbing tears of repentance. The man who had invited Jesus to his home was disgusted with the woman’s display of affection and emotion and, although he didn’t speak his critical thoughts aloud, Scripture told us what he was thinking. His contempt was not just for the sinful woman, but for Jesus for not being aware of her reputation or for allowing her to touch Him in spite of it. But Jesus didn’t let the Pharisees get away with critical thoughts, even though they weren’t verbally expressed to others in the room. Jesus responded to the judgmental mindset of Simon the Pharisee by telling him a parable: 

“A moneylender had two debtors: the one owed five hundred ^[z]denarii, and the other, fifty. When they were unable to repay, he canceled the debts of both. So which of them will love him more?” Simon answered and said, “I assume the one for whom he canceled the greater debt.” And He said to him, “You have judged correctly.” And turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no kiss; but she has not stopped kissing My feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but the one who is forgiven little, loves little” (Luke 7:41-47 NASB).

When we remember and truly appreciate what Jesus endured on the cross to forgive our sins, it will impact how we see others—believers and unbelievers alike. And, Lord willing, it will help us show grace to others as it’s been shown toward us. You and I have been forgiven a death sentence. We’ve been given a new nature, a new identity, and a new lease on life (2 Corinthians 5:17). We’ve been made joint hours with Christ (Ephesians 1). Keep that in the forefront of your mind and return to a humble heart that says, “Except for the grace of God, I would be like that person I’m inclined to judge.” 

Lord Jesus, help me to see others through Your eyes of love and grace. I confess to You a critical spirit and judgmental mindset and don’t want to grieve Your heart by becoming hard-hearted, focusing only on others’ shortcomings and remaining unaware of my own offenses toward You. Lord, give me a humble heart that immediately wants to prays for them, instead of gossiping or maintaining judgmental thoughts in my mind. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen. 

For more on cultivating a grace-filled, nonjudgmental spirit, see Cindi’s books, Women on the Edge, and Drama Free.

Photo Credit: Thinkstock/GordonImages