5 Pieces of Advice I Wish I'd Listened to When I Was in High School

1. Try Everything

I was one of the lucky ones who grew up with parents who encouraged me to chase my passions and calling above all else. They were never concerned about me or my brothers finding the highest paying jobs or those that brought status. It was also about finding a career path that made us joyful. One way they helped us on that journey was by encouraging us to try as many things as possible. And while I think I did a pretty good job at following this advice, there are certainly some things I wish I would have tried.

At the end of the day, it's so important not to count yourself out. If you love singing, audition for the school's talent show, no matter how scared you are. If you're a math whiz or a highly logical thinker, don't stop yourself from joining the mathlete or debate teams. Or maybe you're gifted in math, but you are passionate about art. Remember, just because you are good at one thing doesn't mean you can't love something else.

For example, I was actually more gifted in math and science as a kind, skipping an entire grade in math and winning the high school science fair in my senior year, but English and History were always my passions. So, when I went to college, I pursued a degree in those fields. It turns out passion is a fantastic catalyst for growth because when you love something, you want to learn more about it. You want to get good at it.

So, this is the time to try everything. Don't limit yourself to what you think you're supposed to do. You are so young, and the world is so wide. Give yourself permission to explore as many activities and hobbies as possible so that you might find that thing that lights your soul on fire.

This is advice that I encourage you to take with you all of your life because self-discovery is a life-long journey.

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2. Take Your Time

Remember how I mentioned you are still so young? Yeah, well, you are, so take your time. There is plenty of time to grow up, so don't wish away your childhood.

I had a cousin who once told me I was never a kid; from the moment I was born, I had an adult sense of maturity and independence. Now, while she obviously meant this as hyperbole, she wasn't too far off from the high school version of me. By the time I hit the ninth grade, I had because I was a deeply serious, goal-driven person, hyper-fixated on getting into a top college so I could land a high-powered corporate job someday. Looking back, I wish I would have let myself run free a bit more. Perhaps gone to some parties, leaned into my quirky and creative self a bit more, or even just participated in activities like senior skip day or the senior class prank. But I took myself and life so deeply seriously. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it's also so important to try to have fun and remember to let loose every once in a while.

It's funny because now that I'm nearing the end of my 20s, I'm finally allowing myself to embrace my childlike wonder. I've rediscovered my love of fantasy, started styling cosplays, and went to Renaissance Faires and conventions. I opened my own art businesses and have picked up new hobbies and skills as if they were Pokémon. I've embraced whimsy and humor in a way I never allowed myself to before. Your twenties are still quite young, but I do often catch myself wishing I would have embraced these parts of me, parts that have become my favorite aspects of me when I was school-aged.

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3. Believe in Your Abilities

A lesson I learned the hard way as an adult is that so many of the opportunities we miss out on are the ones we've told ourselves we aren't good enough to go after. When applying for jobs, one thing I like to remind myself is to never decide for an employer if I am qualified or not. Let them determine that for you. The same goes with school. Don't decide for your coaches or teachers that you are not up to the challenge. Try out for that team, audition for that play, and take that class you are dying to take, even if you're intimidated or scared about how it might go. Don't count yourself out before you've even tried. I often have to remind myself to pursue my dreams and ambitions even if I'm scared. You need to remind yourself of that, too. After all, some of our most significant growth happens when we do things that challenge us or trigger our anxiety.

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4. This Is Only the Beginning

This next piece of advice is particularly important for those of you who are feeling overwhelmed by the high school experience. According to a 2023 study published by the National Library of Medicine, researchers found that statistically speaking, girls and high school students experience higher than average stress levels. This could be due to several factors, including anxiety over your course work, social relationships and extracurriculars, not to mention all of the dramatic changes happening to your body and hormones.

But take heart. High school is not forever.

I remember feeling like high school would never end. Like I would be haunted by who I was then forever. Like I would never fit in. Like I would never be enough. I say this with my whole chest, you are enough. And this time of life is only four years long.

You've likely heard the expression "life is short." And while this is true, it is also true that life is long. After these first 18 years, God willing, you should have 60, 70, or even 80 more to go. There is time to become who you want to be, to find people who love and accept you because of all of your quirks and unique sensibilities, and to live a life so much bigger than the social constructions born within the four walls of a high school.

At eighteen years young, this is truly just the beginning of what is to come in your big, beautiful life.

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5. Don't Forget to Have Fun

Finally, don't forget to have fun. Remember those stress levels I was talking about earlier? Try not to let them overrun your life. It's true that it is important to work hard and do well in high school, especially if it is your ambition to go on to college. But in between the late-night study sessions, the SAT practice tests, and hours upon hours of research for that final paper, remember to have fun.

You're only a teenager once. And while these years can be overwhelming, they can also be so much fun. Spend Saturday nights grabbing ice cream with your friends, have fall bonfires in your backyard, go to some home football games, and cheer on your classmates. Let yourself experience the full breadth of the good high school has to offer. At the end of the day, while your education is important, it's not the classes you'll remember five or ten years from now, it's the friends you made and the experiences you had.

When I was in high school, I was in the competitive marching band, which meant that I was required to attend all home football games. While I love hyping up the crowd with the pep band songs and performing our competition routine during halftime, some of my favorite high school memories are of the Friday nights we had off. On those days, I and about five or six of my band friends would all get together and grab ice cream at the mall before heading to the ice skating rink or bowling alley. Sometimes, we would congregate at one of our houses for pizza and a movie. I still remember the first time we went ice skating. I was so nervous that I held onto my best friend Brittany's hand so tightly my knuckles turned white. But as she slowly guided me around the rink, my confidence grew. That was until I let go and completely wiped out. I laughed so hard that tears trickled down my face. Yeah, it hurt a little, but it was so much fun, and eventually, I got the hang of it.

Related Resource: How the Prosperity Gospel Fueled Purity Culture and Undermined Our Parenting

How has the prosperity gospel influenced purity culture, and what does that mean for parenting today? The connections might surprise you.

Purity Culture, much like the prosperity gospel, promises rewards for adhering to specific behaviors, but it often leads to disappointment and shame. And all too often in the church, parents apply this same type of thinking to their children. Parents assume that they will be rewarded with God-honoring, God-fearing children if they teach their children all the right things and parent the Biblical way. Like with the Prosperity Gospel and Purity Culture, the emphasis is on the outcome, not your child's relationship with God.

In this thought-provoking episode of Christian Parent, Crazy World, Catherine engages Dr. Lina Abujamra in a candid discussion about the harmful effects of Purity Culture in Christian communities. They highlight how Purity Culture parallels the Prosperity Gospel by creating unrealistic expectations and measuring spiritual worth through outcomes rather than genuine faith and grace. If this episode helps you be a more thoughtful parent, be sure to subscribe to Christian Parent, Crazy World on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

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