5 Reasons Singleness Is Not a Problem to Be Fixed

1. It Is a Gift

The Apostle Paul tells us, “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now, to the unmarried and the widows, I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:7-9). Just as Paul says here, singleness is a gift. Many people don't think of singleness as a gift, but it is a true gift from God. 

Marriage is a beautiful blessing, but so is singleness. What might it look like if Christians across the globe started seeing singleness as a gift rather than a curse? As someone who went to Bible college, I saw many singles become desperate for a partner. They felt as though they were inferior if they never got married. Moreover, they were afraid they would never be happy without a partner. 

By taking these lies away from our minds, we will be able to understand that singleness is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not going to harm us nor is it going to cause long-lasting problems in our life. Instead, it is a gift that keeps on giving. When we think of singleness in this way, we won't feel as bad when we find ourselves in this situation. Singleness is beautiful and something that needs to be treasured rather than thrown away.

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2. You Can Be Fully Devoted to the Lord

Once again, Paul tells us, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:32-74).

Although Paul was speaking to the Corinthians, what he says also applies to us as modern-day Christians. The interests of the married individual are divided. The husband or wife wants to please one another. However, the single man or woman is concerned with the Lord and how they can bring Him glory. The aim of the single man or woman is to be devoted to the Lord fully, in both body and spirit. 

With this in mind, there is not a single reason to believe that singleness is something that needs to be fixed. It is a beautiful blessing to be fully devoted to the Lord in all areas of life. Rather than being concerned about other things, the single Christian’s heart and mind are set upon the Lord. If you are a single Christian, take this truth to heart and know you can do great things as a single Christian that married Christians cannot.

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3. You Can Still Serve God as a Single

A misleading teaching I have heard for a while is that single Christians cannot serve God. Since they have not been united to a spouse, many people, mission agencies, and mission boards feel they are inadequate to serve the Lord. As someone who has been in this exact place, it is not biblical. Single Christians can serve the Lord on the mission field as well as in any other capacity. A single Christian would actually be even more helpful than a married couple with children on the mission field because they will be more flexible and easier to support.

Married Christians who go on the mission field cost more to churches and supporters because there are two people. The cost goes up even more after adding on children. However, with a single Christian, the cost is only one person, which is an easier financial consideration for many churches and supporters. A single Christian will also be able to connect better on the mission field because they will not have the stressors of married life, parenting, or home life. 

Instead, they will be able to keep their full attention on the Lord and serve Him. Even if a single Christian does not want to serve on the mission field, they could still serve the Lord in other capacities, such as their job, at church, or volunteering at a ministry. All of these wonderful opportunities are because of the Lord. Married couples can do much to help advance God’s Kingdom, but single Christians do not need to be set on the sidelines. There is much they can do to bring God glory in their lives.

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4. Marriage Is Not the End Goal

Something that I witnessed many times since becoming a Christian is the idea that marriage is the end goal. I saw this at Bible college as well as in churches. Most individuals felt they had to get married in order to be a “full” Christian, to be fulfilled, and to be happy. None of these things are required in order to be a happy and fulfilled Christian. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it doesn’t need to be treated as an end goal. If we are getting married simply to get married, then we are getting married for the wrong reason.

When someone is thinking about getting married, their heart needs to be in the right place. They don’t need to get married just because all of their friends are getting married and they don’t want to be left out. Instead, they need to take marriage seriously and ensure the person you are marrying is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Marriage will not be easy as it requires much effort, time, and intentionality.

When we see marriage in this light, we learn that it is not an end goal. Marriage will not fix all of your problems. There will still be times when you will feel lonely or left out. Much time will go into marriage as it is not a retirement from life. Single Christians need to be aware of this and know that they don’t have to change their relationship status in order to achieve some sort of man-made end goal.

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5. You Can Be Happy as a Single

I’ve touched briefly on this point over the course of the article; however, it is worth discussing in more depth. Sadly, time after time, I have heard many Christians say, “You can’t be happy unless you’re married.” While being married can make you happy, it is not going to make you happy all the time. Your spouse is not perfect, and neither are you. Both of you will have arguments, factions, and discord at times. 

There will be hurt feelings and hurt words exchanged between the both of you. Therefore, there is no reason to believe that marriage is the answer to any feelings of sadness or boredom with life. You can be happy as a single Christian. Relationship status does not define our happiness or our joy. Rather, our happiness, joy, and fulfillment are found in the Lord. And this is true whether we are married or single.

We cannot depend on another human being to make us happy all the time. While married couples do love each other and will bring much happiness in each other’s lives, it will not be constant and forever. The only person we can always rely on is God. Single Christians don’t need to believe the lie that only married Christians are living happy lives because many of them are not happy at all. 

Take great joy in being a single Christian, and know that God will do wonderful things in your life. Singleness is nothing to be fixed. Rather, it is something to be enjoyed and spent in devotion to the Lord.

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