4 Reasons to Wait for the One God Has Set Aside for Us

1. Who you marry is the second most important decision you will ever make in your life

After you decide to follow Jesus, the person you marry is the next most important decision in your life. That’s why you can’t make this decision lightly, under pressure, or under duress. Unlike choosing a job or where you want to live, those are choices you can change often if you want to. God did not design marriage to work that way, even though, in our culture, people treat marriage like trying on clothes. If it fits well, you keep it, but if you don’t like the fit, you try on another outfit. That is not the way marriage is supposed to work.

“But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:6-9)

When you get married, you are intermingling your entire life with another person. You are building a life together and possibly starting a family together. By laying down anchors and foundations, you create a bond that cannot be easily broken without severe consequences. The person you marry will affect every part of your life, and that’s why this decision is so critical. As I said earlier, being alone is better than marrying the wrong person.

Further Reading: How Can Christian Singles Decipher Between Love and Lust Before Marriage?

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2. Marrying the wrong person will take a toll on you

When you get married, it is a lifetime commitment. You take two people; now they must work together to become one. That alone is challenging enough when you have the right partner, but imagine if you don’t. For example, what happens if you marry someone who does not share your faith?

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

This can take an emotional toll, a physical toll, a spiritual toll, and sometimes a financial toll on you as well. Jesus said before you make an enormous commitment, count the cost. I would say before you sign the license or say I do, make sure this is the one God has for you. The cost if you don’t might be far greater than you ever imagined.

Further Reading: What Do You Do If You’re Married to an Unbeliever?

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3. The fulfillment of God’s will in your life is connected to the person you marry

Having the right marriage partner is crucial because you will help each other fulfill God’s will for your lives. God has a plan for each of our lives. The person you marry is there to help you realize that plan and fulfill it. You will do the same for them.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Imagine how difficult that is if you have someone working against it or not supportive of how God is leading you. It may feel like you constantly face resistance or go against the current.

When God joins two people together, the goal is for them to walk with each other in the same direction. It is like a crew team, and everyone is rowing in tandem. This does not mean you will agree one hundred percent of the time, but it means you are both walking toward the same objective. In doing this, you are helping and encouraging each other to fulfill God’s purpose individually and collectively as a couple. Even with the right spouse, this is not a straightforward task, so don’t increase difficulty by choosing the wrong one.

Further Reading: What Does the Bible Say about Marriage Problems?

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4. Settling will not make you bitter, not better

In marriage, you choose to do life with another person; the key word is life. Before meeting Diana, I was dating someone else, and as we moved along, I soon realized this person was not the one God had for me. Unfortunately, the person I was dating did not feel that way. At that point, I had a decision to make. I could settle, or I could end the relationship. I chose to end the relationship. It was difficult because I knew I hurt the other person, but I also knew it was the right thing to do. Had I not done this and married that person, I would have ended up bitter. More importantly, I would have missed the one God had for me, who was Diana, whom I met about six months later.

If you are dating someone and have doubts, fears, or concerns over whether this is the right person, address those concerns before you say, “I do.” Marriage is for the rest of your life, so don’t make that commitment if you are uncertain this is the one God has for you. The book of Proverbs warns about how having a poorly chosen spouse (in this case, it uses the example of a wife) brings trouble:

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4)

I would rather you take more time to figure it out because, as the adage goes, it is better to be safe than sorry.

Further Reading: How Do Christians Know If They’re Reading to Marry?

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What should you do while you are waiting?

Some of you may wonder what waiting for the right spouse means, so let me clarify that for you. Waiting does not mean sitting in your house and expecting the right person to show up at your doorstep mysteriously. Somehow, out of the blue, they found your number, and they just had to call you. That is not waiting; that is fantasy. That may happen in Hollywood, but real life is quite different. Waiting means you live your life. You make friends, go on dates, get to know people, and do what God has called you to do. In this process of doing God’s will, living life, and meeting people, often God will reveal the one he has for you.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

If you desire to get married, that is wonderful. However, please don’t make this process a search about finding the one because that is too much pressure. If you are meeting people with that mentality, chances are you will scare them away. It should not be that every time you meet someone, you ask yourself, is this the one? I promise you will only frustrate yourself if you do that. Instead, take a genuine interest in the people you meet and get to know them. Be friendly, be welcoming, and be inviting. That is a lot less pressure. Who knows, by doing this, the one God has for you could have been sitting right next to you all along.

Further Reading: How Should Christians Approach Dating?

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