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3 Reasons Your Faith Shouldn't Trap You in an Unhealthy Marriage

3 Reasons Your Faith Shouldn't Trap You in an Unhealthy Marriage

As Christ's followers, we know God intended marriage to be a sacred union. It is the place where our families grow. Marriage offers us partnership, love, and support and is an opportunity to live out our faith every day. It most definitely requires sacrifice and forgiveness. It's a vow we make that we should always hold close to our hearts and never let go of lightly. God's intention and our vows say we hope to make this last for a lifetime. It's a big dream and a beautiful promise God created that we would not be alone on this journey of life.

That being said, marriage is also a promise made to someone with free will and endlessly changes as their life goes on. It is a covenant that takes you, God, and your partner to hold for it to remain healthy and viable. We have to choose to grow, change, and forgive each other daily for our marriages to be a place where love can flourish. Sadly there are times when our partner refuses to make that choice to be a safe person to build a life with; with God as our helper, we can step away from our marriages to pursue the safety and freedom that he desires us to have.

Our faith should never be used as a weapon used to chain us to unsafe people. God is a god of love, redemption, and order. He never desires you to be stuck in a place of chaos, unfaithfulness, or danger. While he can redeem even the most broken marriages that take an intense level of commitment from both parties, if the will and tools to build a new life aren't there, stepping away is our only path toward redemption. Our faith calls us to radical commitment to our partners and a willingness to always forgive, but it does not call us to live in harm's way.

There are biblical reasons for divorce. It's so crucial that our faith is not used as a trap for those who may be stuck in an unsafe place. Here are some biblical reasons to end a marriage:

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  • Upset woman cheating affair in marriage

    1. Sexual Immorality Is Cause for Divorce

    In Matthew 5, Jesus talks to his followers about divorce. In Matthew 5:30-31, Jesus explains that divorce is allowed when sexual immorality has occurred. According to Baker’s Theological Dictionary, biblical sexual immorality is defined as an interpersonal activity involving sex organs that do not conform to God's revealed laws governing sexuality. Sexual activity is to be confined to the marriage relationship. If a married man or woman has sexual intercourse with someone other than the spouse, that person has committed adultery.

    In the ancient world, divorce was almost always initiated by the husband. In today's world, both men and women have access to a divorce if they find that their partner has not remained sexually faithful to their marriage. Jesus teaches that if you remarry after a divorce in which infidelity has occurred, you are not committing adultery in the eyes of God.

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  • Couple arguing

    2. Divorce Is Allowed When Marriage Vows Are Abandoned

    In 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, Paul counseled new Christians in the first century that they were not obligated to leave their unbelieving spouses. Their holiness covered their spouses and homes as new believers. He continued by telling them that if their spouse did walk away from their marriage as a result of their newfound faith, they should "let it be." They were not bound to that union and had the freedom to remarry.

    In the case of abuse, the abuser has functionally abandoned their marriage. In fact, abuse is much worse than the abandonment because the abuser is using the holy union of marriage for satanic ends. God condemns abuse of a spouse or a child throughout the Bible (Psalms 9:18; Isaiah 3:14-15, Amos 2:7; etc.). God does not tolerate abuse and neglect. We should take every step to protect ourselves and our children if we find ourselves in an abusive marriage. In the event your spouse abandons your relationship, you are not called to hold onto that marriage. You can let that person go and allow God to heal your heart from the hurt caused by an uncommitted partner.

    The very least one can expect from one's church is not to be condemned as a sinner for escaping danger. As believers, we need to make sure we are mindful about the language we use when discussing divorce because it's easy to let black-and-white notions about what divorce is in our culture become an extra cause for an abused person not to seek freedom from their abuser. God's heart is never for us to feel guilty for freeing ourselves from an unhealthy and unsafe marriage relationship.

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  • man with head in hands battling alcohol addiction

    3. Addiction Can Be Grounds for Divorce

    When addiction becomes severe, another form of abandonment occurs in the home. The person that once was no longer exists. Addiction takes over the mind and body, leading to unhealthy patterns. If your spouse is unwilling to pursue treatment and work towards recovery, divorce is an acceptable response to an addicted spouse. While addiction becomes a disease, it does not nullify the sick person's responsibility to pursue treatment in order to be a present and safe partner.

    The reasons for leaving a marriage can be classified as the four A's, which include adultery, abuse, abandonment, and addiction. Apostle Paul's letters about marriage in the New Testament make it clear that a Christian is justified in divorce when they are pulled away from God because of a lack of peace in their home.

    God tells us that marriage is important to him, and we are called to do what we can to keep that relationship intact. The Christian response to marital strife demands that we do everything we can to keep our marriage together. We are not called to keep ourselves in a place of unrest forever. We should not feel trapped in an unbearable relationship because of guilt and shame. God works out all the details of our lives for our good when we follow and trust him. He offers us forgiveness and grace for every situation. We can trust that he will help us when we find ourselves stuck in a relationship that no longer honors God and is safe to stay in.

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    Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.