Sexual Assault in the Church is Real: Here's How We Can Help

1. Pay Attention to the Statistics

With the #MeToo movement fresh in the scrollings of social media, #ChurchToo has also uncovered the ugly truth of sexual assault—in the one place where women and children should feel safest.

But the stats hold true and the stories reveal how girls and women are devalued and abused. One in four girls are sexually assaulted (nsvrc.org), often under the umbrella of the church’s authority. 

Photo credit: Pexels

2. Recognize the Reality of the Situation

Girls are taught that they must submit to males because men are the head of the home and the final authority in all decision-making. Male leaders in the church are placed on an even higher pedestal because they teach the word of God. A female staff member who dares to become a whistle-blower loses her job. A pastor’s daughter is forced to sleep with her father after he preaches an evangelistic service.

Wade Mullen, director of the Masters of Divinity program at Capital Seminary, notes that he has been able to find “news accounts of at least 188 Protestant pastors arrested on sex-crime charges around the country in just the past year and a half” (Bishop-accountability.org).

Besides the usual horrific results of sexual assault—PTSD, self-hatred, depression, suicide attempts, et cetera—sexual assault by a church leader affects the core of a woman’s faith. It changes her viewpoint of God.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Jupiterimages

3. Don't be Afraid to Ask Questions

Since Jesus was a man, it becomes difficult to develop a relationship with this male Savior. Since God is the eternal Father figure, He is also suspect. Why does He not protect His daughters? How does a woman who has been sexually assaulted learn to cherish the words of Scripture? 

How can we deal with the vicious side effects of sexual assault in the church? How can we acknowledge the sins of mankind yet not vilify the entire bride of Christ? How can we protect little girls and the women who sit in our congregations?

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Tinatin1

4. Encourage Your Church to Address the Issue

Evil loves to hide in secret, and by refusing to address it, we condone it. By bringing the truth into view, we are forced to deal with it. Make sure your church has a no-tolerance policy for sexual harassment and assault, no matter who is the perpetrator. Encourage the leadership of your church to take the policy seriously and make it public. Post it on the church’s website so visiting women will understand your church cares about protecting females.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock

5. Make Sexual Assault and Harassment Training a Requirement

Every staff member should understand the dangers of touch, words that can be provocative, and the harmful effects of sexual assault. Standard operating procedures should include policies about meeting women alone in a church office, driving young girls home and offering “friendly” hugs. The best defense is a strong offense.

Photo credit: Pexels

6. Protect the Rights of Female Staff Members

None of the women on staff should be subjected to the notion of “You must submit to my needs” from their brothers in Christ. Neither should whistle-blowers ever be shamed or lose their jobs. A no-disclosure policy does not belong in the church office.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/santypan

7. Provide Resources for Victims of Sexual Assault

Female counselors should be on the resource list and female ministers should be trained in how to counsel victims. A mandated reporter should be on staff so the authorities are called when sexual assault occurs. Pamphlets and brochures from local nonprofits who help victims should be available. Financial help should be offered for women who cannot afford professional services.

The question becomes, “How does God want us to treat His daughters?” When church leaders answer that question with integrity, they begin to repair the damage that has been done.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/vadimguzhva

8. Revisit the Issue of Submission

Ephesians 5:22 has been pounded into the souls of women; yet verse 21 is just as credible and mutual submission leaves no room for abusive behaviors. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

As pastors preach the truth about submission and leaders live it by example, young women grow up without the cloud of deceit that protects abusers. God never requires His daughters to submit to evil. 

Photo credit: Unsplash 

9. Make the Consequences Clear

An apology does not require future trust. Neither does grace imply a second chance for assault. And forgiveness is a process, not an immediate requirement. Any staff member who is suspected of sexual assault should be terminated immediately. 

One of the best resources for dealing with consequences is “The Five Languages of Apology” by Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Jennifer Thomas. In this signature work, the point is made that merely saying, “I’m sorry” will not suffice. 

Genuine repentance which involves change, facing the consequences and making restitution are all methods of true apology. But even with the most sincere apologies, no perpetrator should be allowed to remain on staff or even volunteer in a position involving young girls.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/DragonImages

10. Teach the Children Well

Youth ministries should include training for boys in how to honor and respect girls. And young women need to feel empowered to fight back. As youth leaders become examples for young people, they can foster trust and safety in an evil world.

Some of the girls who attend church are living with incest on a daily basis. Church may be the only place they feel safe. Let’s make sure that continues to remain true. 

And don’t forget that one out of six boys are molested. That experience can set them up for a lifetime of questions about their sexual identity. 

It is sad that we need to deal with such a topic in our houses of worship. But the truth is that mankind is sinful and that includes leaders in the church. As we underscore the importance of sexual purity and the integrity of our leaders, we begin to mend some of the damage that has been done.

Our actions need to signify pure hearts and our goal should be the words recorded in Ephesians 5:3, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

Photo credit: Pexels

RJ Thesman is an author and a certified writing coach. She writes from the heartland of Kansas where she lives with her adult son and an elderly cat. You can follow RJ at https://rjthesman.net/.