5 Things I Wish I Would Have Done Differently as a Mom

1. Patience Anyone?

I can honestly say that patience was never one of my virtues. Even now, in my 50s, I get irritated at 2-minute stoplights that seem to last forever. When raising my kids, it felt like my patience was always being tested. It was like a never-ending exam that I failed over and over again. Can you relate?

The Bible says:

• Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)
• Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2)
• Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12)

These verses remind us not to let weariness chip away at our patience or resort to short-temperedness with our kids. With God's help, we can be gentle, humble, and patient with our children as we clothe ourselves with kindness and compassion. After all, one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is patience, and He lives in us.

A prayer for more patience:

Lord, please help me have a supernatural amount of patience with my children, knowing how to respond with gentleness instead of irritation. With Your strength, I can lead by example and bring a sense of peace and calm to my household. In Jesus' name, amen.

2. Mom, Are You Listening?

Along with patience, I wish I would have been a better listener. Instead of multi-tasking and answering my kids with half-hearted responses, I wish I would have stopped what I was doing, looked them in the eye, and truly listened as they spoke.

When our kids feel heard, they gain a deeper sense of security and worth. Our attentiveness assures them that what they have to say is important. And when we listen carefully to them, it becomes a springboard of expectation that they will listen carefully to us.

The Bible says:

• To answer before listening—that is folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)
• Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)

Let's take these verses to heart and implement them with our children. Instead of giving quick, mindless answers, let's stop what we're doing, truly listen, and encourage healthy communication.

A prayer to listen better:

Lord, please help me be intentional with my children and take the time to listen. Let them know how valuable their words are, and give me the wisdom to answer them in a timely manner. In Jesus' name, amen.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Yuliya Taba

3. Consistency, Consistency, Consistency

Looking back, I can see how much of my impatience and irritability were caused by a lack of consistency. Instead of dealing with issues immediately, in a calm manner, I allowed laziness to interfere with consistent discipline.

While it isn't easy to stop what you're doing (for the hundredth time) and deal with the issues at hand, consistency in motherhood is well worth it in the end. It prevents tension from rising and issues from getting out of control. It allows parents to solve problems before they become too big to handle.

The Bible says…

• No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)
• Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. (Proverbs 13:24 NLT)
• Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire. (Proverbs 29:17)

Of all the things I wish I would have done differently, consistency is at the top of the list. Truly, I believe it would have made a big difference in my children's self-esteem by enforcing good behavior in a calm, consistent manner.

A prayer for more consistency:

Lord, please help me stop what I'm doing and handle disciplinary issues immediately. Show me ways to correct my kids in the most loving way possible and remain consistent with them. I know this will produce a harvest of righteousness and peace in the end, which is what I truly desire. In Jesus' holy name, amen.

4. Character Over Appearance

I used to pride myself in how clean my kids were and how matchy-match their clothes was. I now see that I didn't let them get dirty enough!

Of course, good hygiene is important, but our children's character is of utmost importance.

I wish I had been more diligent in teaching biblical principles over outward appearance. Honestly, I saw their appearance as a reflection of my parenting. I now realize this is a form of pride that can be harmful in the long run.

The Bible says…

• But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
• For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. (2 Peter 1:5-7)

Godly character is what will help our children shine as lights in a dark world. The way they look or the clothes they wear are far less significant in the big scheme of life. I can't encourage you enough to build your child's character on the truth of God's Word.

A prayer for Godly character:

Lord, please change my perspective about outward appearance and make my child's character more important. Show me how to train them in Your will and Your ways. In Jesus' name, amen.

5. God as the Ultimate Authority

Parenting sometimes feels like a battlefield, as our kids are in constant opposition to the rules we've set. Looking back, I wish I would have emphasized God's standards and pointed them to Him as their ultimate authority. Isn't that what we desire for them in the long run?

We want our children to enter into a relationship with the Lord and submit their lives to Him. After all, we know He has their best in mind and created them for a divine purpose. If I could go back, I would uphold God's standard in every area of parenting and lovingly guide my children to look to Him as their Abba Father.

The Bible says…

• All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
• You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. ( 1 John 4:4)

No matter where you are today in the beautiful privilege of parenting, I encourage you to point your children to God as their ultimate authority and the Living Word as their true north. Leading your kids into a relationship with the Savior will be the one thing you will never regret.