6 Ways to Get Kids to Put Their Phones Down for Church

Let’s start with the root of the problem. Why are phones so hard to resist for kids? There are many reasons for this.

Social Media—These apps are irresistible for kids because they feel a constant need to check them to stay connected with friends and keep up with events.

Text Apps- Apps such as WhatsApp can be highly appealing to kids because they’re an instant way to keep in touch with friends and respond to messages instantly.

Gaming and Entertainment - Kids can have all kinds of entertainment, like games, books, movies, and music, at their fingertips at any time of the day or night. Who could resist that? These things are like candy in a candy store for kids and teens, constantly drawing them in and keeping them addicted, so to speak.

Creating a Tech-Free Zone: Setting Boundaries Before Service

It’s important to set boundaries for yourself and your family before service. Here are some tips on how to do this.

• Have everyone text their friends before service that they won’t be able to respond to messages for the next two and a half hours.
• Make sure everyone has their physical Bibles with them.
• Either have Mom collect everyone’s phones in the lobby, or when you sit down, put them in her purse for the duration of the service. OR (weather permitting), everyone leaves their cell phones in the car.
• Ensure you show your children that you have completely turned off your phones.
• Teach your kids that this is not a burden but a sign of respect for their pastor.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Antonio Guillem

Keeping kids occupied during church service can be challenging, especially if your services run long. I once attended a church where our services wouldn’t let out until 2:00 p.m. You could tell people’s kids were beyond restless. Some ways to help them stay busy without distraction include:

• Bring snacks. Kids love snacks; this is a great way to keep their hands busy, bodies still, and mouths shut. Good ideas include Cheerios, apple slices, veggie straws, and dried fruits because they are not messy. Give them these after worship.
• Quiet Toys. Think of things like stuffed animals, baby dolls, puzzles, or a coloring book and crayons.
• Let them be creative. Please give them a drawing pad and some colored pencils. You could also try Water Wow books or LCD drawing tablets. (This kind of tablet is for drawing only and has no other entertainment components—it’s not like a Kindle Fire tablet, for example.) Give your kids a journal as they age and enter their teen years.
• Play a listening game. This is a great way to get them to listen to your pastor while being interactive. Tell them to pat your arm when they hear the word love or wink at you when they hear the word Jesus. Draw a triangle when you hear the word peace.
• Move around. Kids can’t sit still for hours at a time. To help them with this, go to the bathroom at least once during service, let them wriggle in their seat a little, or turn and stretch.
• Use rewards. I’m not a big fan of bribery and think parents use it too often. However, I would sometimes bribe my kids in daycare with gummies if they were having a tough day or during the holiday season when they wound up. Hey, sometimes it is what it is. Tell your kids that if they sit still, they will play outside for fifteen minutes on the church playground or get ten extra minutes of TV or tablet time.
• Please encourage them to engage. Teach them the songs you sing at church so they can sing along during worship. Show them how to bow their heads and pray when the pastor does.
• See if there are ways they can get involved. Kids love to help, so talk to your pastor and see if they could greet the congregation on Sunday morning, pass the collection plate, or clean up trash in the cafe area once everyone goes in for worship.

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Another way to help kids be more interested in church than their phones is to make going to church a shared family experience.

• Show enthusiasm about attending church rather than treating it as a ritual or going through the motions on Sunday morning. Talk about what Jesus did for you the previous week and what you are thankful for, and ask your family members the same thing.
• If you have other family members who attend your church, let your kids sit with grandma and grandpa or Uncle Ken and Aunt Cassie occasionally.
• Do a family Bible study during the week about this week’s sermon so everyone is prepared and understands what will be taught.
• Make sure you are in the right church. It needs to be a place where everyone in the family feels comfortable and fits in, and it needs to benefit everyone.
• Make sure you choose the right service time for everyone. Consider your family’s schedule during the week and select a time that works for everyone. Some churches have services on Saturdays if that works better. Our church has services at 8:00, 10:00, and 12:00 on Sunday and at 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. on Saturday.

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Start a rewards program to encourage phone-free time during service. This is especially great for little kids.

• Give your phone to mommy before we leave the house = 5 extra minutes of playtime outside.
• Give up your phone when we get in the car = one piece of candy.
• Hand your phone over before we reach the church doors =two pieces of candy.
• If you are quiet during service, you will receive dessert at the restaurant (if you’re going out for lunch after service) or an extra serving of dessert at home (within reason).

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It’s crucial for you as the parent to lead by example. You can’t expect your kids to put their phones down for church or anything else if you don’t.

• Limit your phone time every day.
• Set a timer for how much time you’ll spend on social media and commit to browsing only twice daily in the morning and the evening.
• Turn your phone off before you leave the house for church and show your children you did so.
• Tell your kids why staying off their phones at church is important.
• Stay off your phone during important events. This could be as simple as dinner, or at your kid’s sporting event, or dance recital. Show them it’s more important to be present during the moments that count.
• Teach them that staying off their phones during church is a sign of respect for their pastor and Jesus.
• If you forget your Bible and must use your phone during church to access sermon notes or the Bible, turn off all notifications and turn your volume down. Show your family that you have done this to prove you lead by example.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Manuel Faba Ortega

Sit down with your kids and honestly discuss why being on their phones is inappropriate in church. Impress upon them how important their faith is and why learning God’s word is essential.

Put things in their perspective and ask them how they'd feel talking to friends who were too distracted to listen. They will probably tell you they would be mad or upset. Then explain how your pastor feels when they are on their phones. I am not angry or upset, but more disappointed and sad. This will help them understand why they shouldn’t be on their phones at church.

Keeping kids off their phones during important moments and events is hard. Instead of getting upset with your kids, explain to them why it’s important to be in the moment and how it makes others feel when they aren’t. This will help them be more aware of what’s appropriate and what isn’t.

Photo Credit: Getty Images/Jantanee Rungpranomkorn