As a Christian for almost 30 years, prayer has been a discipline I've had to perfect. For many years, I prayed superficially, hiding my deep emotions from God. But as I matured, I quickly realized that God knew all my feelings before I expressed them. As I grew in the faith, I knew I could come to God.
This is because my worldview of him changed. I no longer saw him as a distant entity with a fly swatter in heaven, waiting to swat me anytime I sinned. Instead, I understood him as a kind and loving Savior who wanted to have fellowship with me. When I understood the gravity of that reality, I prayed more and more.
However, as the years have passed, sometimes I merely go through the motions of prayer. This is especially true when I’m going through an increasingly dry time in my spiritual life. As with anything, we go through periods of abundance, hearing from God frequently. Other times, we experience silence, desperately holding on to his promises and hoping he will speak again. I admit that I rush through my prayers when God is not speaking. I often rattle off a to-do list of things I want God to do for me. I neglect my time to achieve intimacy with him even when he's silent.
When I observe prayer as a connection in my relationship with God, rather than a chore to complete off my to-do list, I get out of my prayer rut and experience deeper intimacy with God. Here are some ways to get out of a prayer rut:
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1. Understand Who You’re Talking To
1. Understand Who You’re Talking To
As a pastor’s wife for almost 25 years, I have been a part of several churches. Most churches have forgotten the brevity of their everyday connection with God. The entire church model focuses on getting people to come to their building to participate in their chosen events. But recently, I started attending a church whose members of the hungry generation understand that God truly is in their lives. Because he has delivered them from so much trauma and sin, they can't help but praise God.
For example, as I talked one week with a fellow small group member, he commented he was tired because he had gotten to the church at 6:00 AM in preparation to serve on the worship team. When I commented the practice must take a long time, he replied that he gets to the church 2 hours early. He sits and bears the gravity of the privilege that God lets him serve. He understands fully his unworthiness in the presence of his Savior. In gratitude for all God has done, he gladly gets to church two hours in advance to participate in giving God his gifts and talents.
Many of us forget who we are talking to when we pray. We forget that we are talking to an omniscient, omnipresent, Incarnate God who offered his one and only son as the ultimate sacrifice for our sins simply so we could have intimacy with him. He controls the universe, raises people from the dead, heals the sick, and drives out demons. Getting into a prayer rut is easy when we forget who we're talking to. However, when we embrace the reality that we are talking to an incredible Savior who needs nothing from us yet delights in merely having fellowship, we never take prayer for granted again.
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2. Practice Sense and Solitude
2. Practice Sense and Solitude
Jesus “Often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16.) Jesus never treated prayer as a chore to tack onto an overly packed to-do list. Instead, he understood that he could never serve God without talking with God. This meant that Jesus, even though he had a hectic schedule, carved out time each day to speak with his father, the connection of which got him through his trials with the Pharisees, his temptation in the desert, and ultimately, his crucifixion.
Because so much demands our time, we must also carve out time to talk with God. If you have children to care for, work, and household duties to complete, get up earlier than usual. Set a timer for 10 or 20 minutes. Sit in silence. Allow God to speak. When we get alone with God to listen and not just talk, we encounter Jesus in new and exciting ways. Silence and solitude are complex disciplines to practice regularly. Even quarterly silent encounters can help you grow spiritually. Once you encounter Jesus, you'll never want to live apart from him again.
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3. Listen as Much as You Speak
3. Listen as Much as You Speak
We often mistake prayer for talking. But prayer is the language through which we communicate with God. As in any relationship, we must listen to the other person as much as we speak to them. Having one-way conversations with God is like not having any conversations at all. Take the time to listen to God. Ask the Holy Spirit to make you more in tune with his work. You can find God in a myriad of sources. He could speak through the Bible, co-workers, your local church, podcasts, TV, radio stations, etc.
Be willing to not merely express your prayer requests but listen and ask God what he wants for your life. You may be surprised at the way God is speaking. Sometimes, we jump ahead of God's plan for our lives, only to find he needs to clean up our mess. Refrain from telling God what you want. Instead, yield your entire life to him.
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4. Exude Humility
4. Exude Humility
Pride is one of the main hindrances to an inactive prayer life. We sometimes become so arrogant about our Scripture knowledge that we don't take the time to listen to God. We may also have so much self-hatred that we mistake it for humility. Humility is agreeing with God's promises. It is a greater understanding of who we are and who he is.
Confess any pride to God. Pride can be hidden in many places in our lives. If you're unsure of pride, have the Holy Spirit reveal it to you. Allow him to reveal it so you can confess it and repent from it. When you cling to God through prayer and understand it's your lifeline to even get through the day, we finally rid our lives of pride and insert God's presence there instead.
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5. Use the Five-to-One Principle
5. Use the Five-to-One Principle
To mix up your prayer life, use the five-to-one principle. The five-to-one principle takes the first five days of prayer and actively prays for other people and their needs. If you don't know of other people's needs, ask them. It can be as simple as posting a question on social media asking people for their prayer requests, or it can be as complicated as asking people in your church. Make a list and go through it systematically. On Monday, pray for your family members. On Tuesday, pray for your local church. On Wednesday, pray for the nation. On Thursday, pray for missions in third-world countries experiencing severe persecution. On Friday, pray for people on social media.
Once you've gotten through the five days of praying for others, use the sixth day to pray for your needs. Not only will this change your life but also your character. It is easy for us to become selfish and ask God for only what we want. When we choose to focus on other people, prayer can be our greatest weapon and can make an impact not only in our community but also in our world.
Prayer is one of the biggest (and sometimes only) tools we can use when life gets tough. By observing the principles above, you will increase your humility, focus your prayers on others, add spiritual disciplines to your growth routine, and solidify your identity as God's child.
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Originally published March 04, 2025.
