5 Ways to Leave Past Hurts Behind as You Enter the New Year

1. Forgiving as the Lord Has Forgiven Us

The Apostle Paul tells us the importance of forgiveness, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). We will not be able to move on from the past unless we choose to forgive. Forgiveness is hard. I’m not downplaying this at all. I personally struggle with forgiveness as it is not my strong suit. 

Whether we are good at forgiveness or not, we need to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us. Since the Lord has forgiven us in so many ways, we need to forgive others. Think about what the Lord has forgiven on our account. Maybe it was lying, hurting others, or being mean to others. All of us have done horrible things that deserve death (Romans 3:23). 

Even if we believe we haven’t done anything “that bad,” we actually have. Anytime we sin, we are hurting God. Sin is the exact opposite of everything God stands for. When the original sin of disobedience was committed, death sprung to life. God never intended for death to be the fate of all mankind, yet when we fell, death became a reality for all people.

If God can forgive us for all of the terrible things we have done, then there is no reason to believe we cannot forgive others. It is important to mention that reconciliation is not the same as forgiveness; however, God still wants us to forgive them. In other words, we can forgive others without being reconciled to them. Forgiveness is the act of giving the situation over to God and letting it go. Reconciliation is the process of being reconnected to the person, which is not commanded in Scripture.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/PeopleImages 

2. Think about Whatever Is Good

Whenever I’m having trouble leaving past hurts behind, I focus on Philippians 4:8-9, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” As Paul petitions us to do, we need to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. 

If any of these past hurts don’t meet these qualities (which they won’t), then we don’t need to think about them. By forgiving the person and moving on in our lives, we will be able to truly live again. Thinking only about things that are good will help us to leave the past hurts behind. The less time we think about the bad things, the less likely they will drift into our minds. 

Try to think about only the good things this week and see if it helps. All of us have the choice of whether we are going to feed into the pain or into the healing. I have already spent enough time feeding into the pain, and I have made the decision to start feeding into the healing. We might think we have some sort of control over the pain, but it isn’t true. The pain will only begin to have control over us.

Feeding into the healing process will prove to be more beneficial to our lives. By focusing on the Lord and all of His blessings, we won’t be bogged down by the pain of the past. While we won’t forget them, we will be able to manage the past hurts in a healthy way. This can be a challenge, yet we are never alone because Jesus will help us overcome any hurdle.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/GaudiLab 

3. Reflecting on the Times We Have Hurt Others

This might sound like an oxymoron, yet it can be beneficial when it comes to moving forward in the New Year and leaving past hurts behind. By thinking about the times we have hurt others, we will be able to be more sympathetic to when others have hurt us. Maybe the person who hurt us felt unwell or they were struggling with something we couldn’t see. This was something that I had to learn in my own life in order to move past these hurts. 

My mom used to get upset and yell at me a lot, and it was always painful to reflect on these unpleasant memories. However, when I started trying to see things from her perspective, I started putting the puzzle pieces together. My mom was so upset and angry because she was in pain—and she was afraid. She was afraid of her congestive heart failure diagnosis, and that caused her to lash out at me many times.

At the time, it was painful and to be honest, it still is at times, yet by looking at things from her point of view, I have discovered that her anger was rooted in pain. She didn’t hate me. She was just having a hard time and struggling with pain of her own. As believers, this is why we need to start looking at things from other people’s perspectives. Instead of deeming them the “villain,” we need to look at what actually was happening.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/fizkes 

4. Giving the Hurts Over to Jesus

It will be impossible to leave past hurts behind apart from giving them over to Jesus. By casting our worries on Jesus, we will be able to stay strong (1 Peter 5:7). Hurts from our past can be too heavy to carry at times. They can feel like a huge boulder that is crushing our backs. When we feel our past hurts getting this strong, we need to give them over to Jesus. Jesus will help us carry these burdens and give us relief (Matthew 11:28-30). 

Give these hurts over to Jesus today and watch your life be transformed. No longer will you be held in a prison because of these past hurts. Instead, you will be set free by the power of Christ. Jesus died in order for us to have an abundant life (John 10:10). How can we have this abundant life if we hold on to past hurts? Past hurts will only continue to eat away at us. 

Rather than allowing them to do this, we need to give them over to Jesus. Jesus knows we are too weak on our own. And as believers, we have to acknowledge that we are not strong enough to do everything on our own. We need Jesus. We won’t be able to forgive the people who have hurt us or the pain they have inflicted upon us if we are not fully walking in alignment with the Lord and accepting His help in our lives.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/imtmphoto 

5. Praying for Those Who Have Hurt Us

This will be challenging, yet praying for those who have hurt us can help us move forward this New Year. Jesus tells us, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:44-45). As the Lord instructs us, we need to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. 

Even if the people who have hurt us haven’t persecuted us for our faith, we still need to pray for them. Praying for those who have hurt us will show Jesus’ love to them. Maybe we won’t ever see the people who hurt us ever again, yet we are still called to love them and to pray for them. Choose to pray for those who have hurt you today and leave the past in the past. 

By leaving the past where it belongs, you will be able to face the New Year with joy. Jesus doesn’t want you to enter the New Year with anger, resentment, or hate. Give these feelings over to Him and trust Him. Pray for those who have hurt you and truly forgive them from the bottom of your heart. Life will feel much lighter without the burden of past hurts weighing you down.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Kieferpix