Why We Need to Learn to Take Compliments Well

Why We Need to Learn to Take Compliments Well

“Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. (Genesis 1:26-27)

It can be awkward accepting compliments from others, especially when we don’t have a healthy view of who we are in the Lord. When our identity is defined by how we look or perform, our critical nature can cause us to reject compliments or blow them off as unimportant.

Though compliments may feel awkward at the time, they are actually blessings of encouragement. Here are a few reasons why we need to learn to take compliments well:

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  • 1. It is a sign of our security in Christ.

    1. It is a sign of our security in Christ.

    Those who have embraced the beautiful truth of having been created in the image of God have an easier time taking a compliment well. Receiving a kind word and genuinely appreciating it will come more naturally to someone who is secure in their godly identity.

    Insecurity is at the heart of rejecting compliments. And when we think about it, self-centeredness is often at the root of insecurity. In my book, Scarves of White: Replacing Our Issues With the Covering of Christ, I describe insecurity as having a very inward focus, while being secure in Christ is having “in-Him-security.” That’s the kind of security needed to accept compliments well—an identity fastened fully in Christ.

    “Yet He has made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and secure. For this is all my salvation and all my desire; will He not make it increase?” (2 Samuel 23:5)

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  • 2. It accepts another's appreciation of us.

    2. It accepts another's appreciation of us.

    It’s not a sign of pride to accept someone’s accolade. In fact, it can be a genuinely humble experience. Charles Stanley once wrote, “If someone says to you, ‘You’re really smart,’ or ‘You’re really creative,’ don’t dismiss their compliment with self deprecating remarks.” He goes on to explain that the other person is trying to show their appreciation for you. In their minds, you really are smart or creative. And by accepting the compliment, you are accepting their appreciation of your abilities. (Read more here.)

    “The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself.” (Proverbs 11:25)

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  • 3. It recognizes our God-given strengths.

    3. It recognizes our God-given strengths.

    A big part of being able to accept someone’s appreciation of us is to actually appreciate ourselves. Again, it isn’t prideful to acknowledge we are skilled at something. In fact, it’s healthy to recognize our God-given strengths and talents. If you’re not sure of what your strengths are, consider taking a spiritual gifts test.

    When we are able to define our giftedness in Christ, we can then feel confident in sharing those gifts, knowing we are edifying the body. And when the compliments come, we can offer a prayer of thanks to the Lord who gave us those gifts.

    “There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all.” (1 Corinthians 12:4-6)

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  • 4. It is an opportunity to build relationships.

    4. It is an opportunity to build relationships.

    Another thing to remember is that when we accept someone’s compliment graciously, we can then turn the conversation around and find out more about them. Once the other person sees we are open to their kind remark, it may lead to a conversation about their interests and strengths.

    Look for opportunities to engage with other people, especially when they’ve taken the time to engage with you. Accepting a compliment can be a terrific conversation starter, and may lead to a lasting friendship.

    “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” (Colossians 3:16)

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  • 5. It is a chance to receive a blessing.

    5. It is a chance to receive a blessing.

    The interesting thing about struggling with compliments, is that most people generally like to receive positive affirmations. In fact, most of us seek it. So, to reject the accolade is really counterintuitive to what we are hoping for in the first place. In a sense, it becomes an awkward game in which nobody wins. Let’s humbly accept the blessing someone is offering and look for ways to return it.

    “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38)

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  • 6. It is a way to quit a bad habit.

    6. It is a way to quit a bad habit.

    Forming a response ahead of time can help you learn to better accept a compliment. It can be as simple as, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate you saying that.” This kind of response may seem forced or insincere at first, but eventually, it will become natural and you will be able to respond genuinely each time. 

    “My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.” (1 John 3:18-19)

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  • 7. It is a way to give back.

    7. It is a way to give back.

    Make it a goal to give compliments more often. By seeking out opportunities to compliment others, you will grow more and more comfortable with the issue altogether. 

    Everyone likes to receive a kind word. Encouragement goes a long way in a world that is often full of discouragement. If it’s difficult for you to offer genuine words of encouragement, start small. Choose one person per day to compliment. Ask God to present the right person who may need to hear a positive affirmation from you. 

    “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

    Learning to take a compliment well really isn’t rocket science, it’s simply a decision to accept our full identity in the Living God who created us. And when we stop to think about it, being made in the image of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is definitely worth a compliment well taken.

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