The Ultimate Gift List Based on Love Languages

Gift giving. Some of us are thrilled with this time of year—shopping, crafting, and creating the best gifts for those we love. Every advertisement catches our eye, we enjoy roaming the aisles of gift ideas, shopping online at specialty outlets, and looking for homemade and handmade options that can be infused with the love and genuine appreciation we feel for the recipient of our gift.

For others, though, it can be the bane of our Christmas existence. Trying to come up with ideas that are more interesting than a gift card, more meaningful than a gift box of coffee with a complimentary coffee mug, and more thrilling than a jar of bath bombs decorated with a loofah.

Some of our recipients make it even more challenging to give a gift simply because they don't seem all that excited to receive one in the first place. Or they smile, nod, offer appreciation, and then set the gift aside as if it didn't mean much. It probably did, but they're not particularly expressive, or their language of love isn't the same as yours.

Love language? We've all heard of them by now, but just in case you're one of the few who hasn't, the concept is that everyone speaks a language of love where they give and receive it most naturally. They're divided into five languages: quality time, tangible gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and words of affirmation.

Used as a guide for gift giving, there are some unique and interesting gifts you could give your special person this year that may speak to them in a way they've not experienced before. It may speak to them in their love language.

Here are some ideas:

1. Quality Time

People who speak quality time can range from just needing to be in the same room with you to needing your undevoted attention. Consider gifts of time for your family and friends. Here are some practical examples to make it easier for you.

For a spouse – 12 months of dates. Include one card for each month. Wrap them in a bundle so they can open the bundle, not the individual cards. Then, each month, they get to open a card, and inside you'll have placed a "date card" that you will do with them for that month. It may include a movie night, a dinner out, a leisurely walk at the park, or even a short weekend getaway. Whether you're on a budget or have money to spend, you can give your significant other 12 months of promised time. (Be sure to include a disclaimer that you also commit to not being on your phone or social media during your time together)

For a child – Take the idea above and modify it for your child. Maybe not every month, but perhaps it's six big events together. And to make it more fun for them, instead of a card, allow them to open all six gifts and have them symbolize the promised "time" you will spend together. Have them guess what they think you're going to do together. Going to the zoo? Buy them a stuffed animal. Taking them to Mcdonald's? Ask the local store for a Happy Meal box and throw in some toy food. Be creative and have fun!

2. Tangible Gifts 

Just buy them stuff. Well, that does tend to be the pitfall when gifting to those who find their love by giving and receiving gifts. The problem is these individuals are not shallow people who like to collect things or greedy people wanting just to get things. People who speak the language of gifts do so with very intentional reasons.

In this scenario, whether it's for a spouse or a child, you want to consider what is most meaningful to them or between the two of you. For example, a gift is one thing, but a gift that signifies something memorable will be treasured. Perhaps it's a necklace with your hand scripted "I love you" carved into its metal. Or maybe, their favorite place to vacation is St. John's. How about putting together a gift with all things that symbolize their favorite vacation spot? (Or maybe, a trip?)

Frankly, these individuals are probably the easiest to give gifts to, but what you really want to focus on is the meaning and intent behind the gift. That will go a long way to making it something they will cherish for ages.

3. Acts of Service 

This may be one of the more difficult personalities to buy for. In reality, they thrive on serving others, and while they appreciate being served as well, they also appreciate having it done in an orderly way that makes sense to them and, typically, isn't a surprise.

This means if they've been intending to organize the garage, it's probably not the best idea to do it for them unless you know exactly how they were planning on accomplishing it. Otherwise, you may risk the appearance of actually creating more work for them than just serving.

So how do you gift the gift of service? You could take the concept of serving, but don't apply it to them specifically. In other words, donate a segmented amount of volunteer time at a local charity of their passion in honor of them. Maybe your act of service is a monetary donation in their name to something they find important, and they will see the value of the donation. You certainly can do something for them, too but be sure to involve them. This means maybe you give them a "coupon book" of availability that they can use to engage your assistance when they need it. Or if it's a child, think of something they've been wanting to accomplish for some time and make it a dedicated gift that you will accomplish this with them—be it painting their bedroom, building them a loft bed, or helping them catch up on chores each week.

4. Physical Touch 

This one must be approached carefully. You certainly don't want to give a co-worker a gift of physical touch and even sometimes a family member; it might be extremely awkward. So first, you want to know your receiver and how they appreciate "touch" from you—or don't appreciate it.

There are ways to communicate love and appreciation through touch that isn't intimate or invasive. Individuals who enjoy touch often enjoy tangible sensory experiences as well. A plush blanket, a spa package, a warm set of pajamas or slippers, even a new puppy or kitten (just don't gift a pet unless you know they will and can be cared for properly!). Because these tangible items also communicate cozy, warm, snuggle, etc., they can be a long-distance sort of physical affection from you and communicate your affection without being offensive or uncomfortable.

And even if you are comfortable with physical touch because it is your spouse or your child, again remember to a. keep it appropriate within the boundaries of your relationship and b. remember that a tangible item can often become a symbol of your physical affection when you cannot be there.

5. Words of Affirmation 

These folks will love one of those signs with an encouraging statement painted on it. Or perhaps a heartfelt letter written to them about all the way you appreciate and love them. Sometimes we tend to take our spouses for granted more than we realize, and if they want affirmation, now is a great time to carve it in stone. Literally. Gift a piece of jewelry inscribed with something personal and filled with affirmation. If it's a child, maybe it's a stuffed animal they can press and hear your voice come through with a recording of your affirmation of how wonderful they are and how they're your most precious gift.

This would be an easier gift to give, but so often, the gift of words can actually be on the scale of more challenging. Words aren't easy to gift wrap. So, think of tangible items that you can gift wrap that symbolizes words you feel best describe the receiver's value to you. Are they your biggest support? Maybe you need to give them a gift filled with items synonymous with "support"—chocolate is one you can rarely go wrong with.

Each love language can be tailored to gift-giving with some thought. If you don't know their love language, take a moment to reflect on how they tend to show you they care, and that's most likely their love language.

But universally, remember this—the best gift is a thoughtful gift. One that you put effort into versus the box of candy you snatched off the shelf with no reason other than to plop a bow on it and fulfill an obligatory commitment. Everyone needs to feel loved and appreciated. Take a little care this Christmas to do the best that you can.

Jaime Jo Wright is an ECPA and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author. Her novel “The House on Foster Hill” won the prestigious Christy Award and she continues to publish Gothic thrillers for the inspirational market. Jaime Jo resides in the woods of Wisconsin, lives in dreamland, exists in reality, and invites you to join her adventures at jaimewrightbooks.com and at her podcast madlitmusings.com where she discusses the deeper issues of story and faith with fellow authors.