3 Reasons Taking Antidepressants Doesn't Equal Spiritual Failure
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- Updated Jul 15, 2022
I grew up in a very charismatic Christian home. My parents gave me a strong faith, but some of the messages that were communicated to my soul from the church lacked empathy and understanding. Mental health was one place that the church struggled to offer a safe space for.
It makes sense that mental health struggles have been stigmatized by the church. Much of the Bible helps us to align our thoughts with the ways of the Lord. Christians see our thoughts as a place where a spiritual battle wages. It’s easy to think if we are losing our minds to anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and more, then we are losing a spiritual battle.
Counselors agree that capturing your thoughts and creating new pathways or habits of thought in your brain has value. With help and support, you can flip the script of negativity that can easily begin to run wild in your mind. While we don’t want to neglect acknowledging the power of our thoughts, it’s important to see that there is more than a mental struggle going on when you are dealing with a life-altering state of mental anguish.
In my own story, I began to struggle with mental health issues in a consistent way at the age of 26. I experienced some trauma with the birth of our first son, a shooting at our home, and then welcomed our second son into the world. I was exhausted, and soon my brain and body became consumed with terrifying thoughts. I would find myself doing simple tasks like washing dishes, and my mind would be inundated with thinking of how to guard our home against an intruder. I had terrifying dreams and laid down at night only to experience panic that surged through my body. I dreaded night and soon found panic getting in the way of me being able to live my daily life well.
My Christian upbringing only brought one solution to this new problem: I had to pray through it. I was determined to white-knuckle my way better. I would read, pray, and cry my way through this scary new season. I had no point of reference for mental health because no one I had ever known had talked to me about it. Every adult I had ever met seemed to have made it through the ups and downs of life without panic, depression, worry, or mental anguish. I was young and clueless about what was happening to me. On top of that, I was happy and deeply in love with my children, so I couldn’t understand why fear and tears were keeping me up at night.
This was just the start of a now 8-year journey towards finding healing for my mind and body. I prayed, struggled, fought, cried, tried, counseled, and so much more in hopes that I could beat the beast of anxiety and depression. I felt so much guilt because I felt I brought this weakness into my marriage and home. Then about a year and a half ago my body started to break down alongside my mind. That pit in my stomach that came when my body was taken over by a wave of panic started to be there in the day and night. Pain, sleeplessness, and lots of doctors became a part of my story.
Thankfully God is gracious and patient. He brought to my life the right people that knew my struggle personally. He gave me the right holistic doctor to help me change my habits to heal my body and good friends who encouraged me to take the medication I had needed for years. I prayerfully started Lexapro, and my life has changed so dramatically. I now see I wasn’t spiritually broken, I am just living in a broken body that needs help to stay alive and well.
Here are some lessons I’ve learned about my faith and the need for antidepressants:
1. We Are Made of Body, Soul, and Mind
The reality is God has made us with many parts that work together to form our personhood. We are given a mind to reason with, a soul that connects to the Holy Spirit, and a body. If our bodies are unwell, then our minds and souls will struggle. Similarly, when our souls or minds are weighed down, it affects how our bodies function.
I saw my “mental health struggle” as a lack of self-control, a moral failure, and a product of a weak mind. The truth is that I have a beautiful life that I have always thanked God for. He has richly blessed me. My body was not able to walk in that gratitude and joy because I lacked the correct amount of Serotonin in my brain. God, of course, could have miraculously healed me and allowed my brain to begin to work properly, but I see how he has used the journey to teach and grow me. I trust this is the path he has laid out for my life, and I rest in the assurance of his goodness.
Antidepressants are a treatment for an imbalance in the body. We as believers do not equate taking blood pressure medication with a spiritual failure, and taking medication that helps our brains work properly should not be stigmatized either. No medication is ideal, but it is one tool God has given us to ease the suffering that sin and death have brought into this world. If you have utilized counseling and healthy habits and are still living in a clouded fog, it may be time to add another tool to your healing box.
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2. God’s Grace Is Sufficient to Meet Our Needs
2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me.” God knows that we are fallen and broken people. He tells us that his power can be seen when we humbly ask for his help to work through our weaknesses.
I perceived my mental illness as a weakness, a shameful flaw, and something God couldn’t help me through. What pride exists is me! God is good enough and big enough to work through even our greatest weaknesses. I was limiting his ability to work in my life when I saw this flaw as my own sad failure. God needed me to lay down my abilities to him and then he finally gave me the grace to find freedom. For some, freedom may not look like taking medication, it may be the healing work of therapy, it may be changing your habits, addressing past trauma, or all of the above. Either way, we have to trust that God is able to do good things in our lives. He promises to use our weakness for his glory!
3. We All Struggle with Sin
I lived under a false narrative that my struggle was unique and, therefore, somehow worse than others. I felt I needed to hide this part of me I felt I could not control. The freeing truth is that we all struggle with sin and brokenness in our lives.
Paul articulates this struggle we all go through so well in Romans 7:15-20. It says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”
I feel like Paul captured my heart…I do what I don’t want to do. I think thoughts I don’t want to think. I am afraid of things I don’t want to be afraid of. This is the weight of sin in our lives, and it is something we all have to contend with until we experience a new heavenly body. Mental health is not something we need to feel special shame for struggling with. We all fall short, and it’s the sharing of our burdens, the praying with other believers, and the work of caring for our bodies, minds, and souls that help push back the power of sin at work in our lives.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” Our bodies matter. Being a good steward of the body God has given you is important spiritual work. For me neglecting my mental health cost me years of amplified marriage struggles, breakdowns, and torment. I wish I knew then what I see now is that God cares about my mind, body, and spirit. He wants us all to handle our flesh with care.
Related: Listen to our FREE podcast, Get Your Brave On with Amanda Carroll! You can find all of our episodes at LifeAudio.com.
Photo Credit: Unsplash/Pawel Czerwinski
