6 Steps to Make the Most of Valentine’s Day as a Single Christian
- Aaron D'Anthony Brown Contributing Author
- Updated Jan 24, 2022
If during Christmas the bells are ringing, then for Valentine’s Day is Cupid singing? Whatever the case may be, there’s no doubt that Valentine’s Day is a highly anticipated, highly celebrated holiday. We buy candy decked up in red and pink wrappers, purchase the most colorful flowers, the most potent perfumes, and the most illustrative cards. More so than that, we make plans to share an exciting experience with our lover, but what if we don’t have one? What if we’re Christian, single, and have no inclination about the future of our love lives? What then?
Waiting on God in our singleness can be tough. Even so, Valentine’s Day is still very much on the way. So take cover, love’s in the air, but while we dodge questions about having a Valentine, we should also take hope. God knows how we feel. He understands our wants, needs, all the desires of our hearts. If we maintain the right perspective of Him and Valentine’s Day, we can make the most of the occasion. There’s joy to find in our singleness. Here are six steps to make the most of Valentine’s Day as a single Christian.
1. Thank God for What You Have
“Giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:20)
Is the glass of water half full or half empty? Are you happily or dreadfully single? Our perspective greatly affects our circumstances and most certainly affects our mood. Being single doesn’t have to be a drag, especially when we realize that God has blessed us in so many ways.
Consider the fact that you woke up this morning, maybe fixed your bed, brushed your teeth. Were you able to use the bathroom without issue? Do you have a car to drive and a job? Maybe you have relatives in your life or people who’ve proven themselves to be friends.
If we truly took the time to count God’s blessings, we would never stop counting.
You may be a single person, which describes most Americans currently, but there’s so much that you have that many others around the world do not. You name it, someone somewhere does not have it.
Take the time to recognize God’s blessing. Acknowledge His work and be grateful for what you have.
2. Ask God for What You Don’t Have
“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
Being thankful doesn’t mean we ignore our desires. Not paying attention to what we want or need could be detrimental. Connection is indeed a need (Genesis 2:18). How God will fulfill our desires, we have yet to see and that is why we communicate with Him. In prayer, we can approach God expressing our longing for a wife or a husband. We can tell Him about the Valentine’s Day angst, the loneliness, the hopelessness, whatever we face. He hears our prayers and will make the choice to answer those prayers when He’s ready.
There’s comfort to be found in being able to pray to God whenever and wherever. Moreover, there’s a blessing in that while we may feel alone, sometimes utterly alone and forever single, God never leaves us. He’s with us and that is why we shouldn’t worry. We should just pray, pray, and pray.
3. Practice Patience
“Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
After we pray, we wait. And we don’t just wait, we wait patiently. God offers us wisdom and guidance, but not at the snap of a finger like a wish-granting genie. We exist to worship and serve God, not the other way around. While we wait, let’s aim to do so with a good attitude.
Being thankful helps us practice patience. If we spend our time giving praise for what we have, that’s less time to spend grumbling about what we don’t. Valentine’s Day is just another opportunity - albeit difficult - to maintain a patient attitude.
Sometimes we read stories in the Bible about people suffering, like Job, and there is no clear indication as to how long they suffered. Surely years would be a viable interpretation. Sometimes our lives will reflect similar long periods of waiting. Yet, as Job’s story shows, while we are being patient, God is not absent.
4. Make Opportunities
“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
What can God use for our good? All things. What will God use for our good? All things. Sometimes we single folk have a tendency of wanting God to drop somebody off at our front door. We expect our lover to ring the doorbell and say, “Hey, we’re meant to be together.” Something like this may have happened a time or two in the form of a delivery person, but surely this isn’t the narrative for most of us.
There are seasons of waiting in the life of a Christian. That’s why we need patience. There are also seasons where we make the opportunities we seek. We can pray to God for a new job, but that means we also need to send in applications. We can pray for our spouse, but we also need to make opportunities. Some people try online dating, others simply make an effort to talk to people at church, the grocery store, and other places.
We can pray about connection, but we should also seek to create it and not be afraid of rejection.
5. Don’t Be Afraid
“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
One of the greatest banes on Americans today is anxiety. We have a great fear of the unknown, especially when putting ourselves out there on the dating scene or waiting for someone to date us. Rejection can hurt, but with experience, rejection feels lighter, easier, and eventually not much of a big deal (so I hear).
Of course, this is easier said than done but so worthwhile. Amidst all the potentials to go wrong, all we need is one perfect match. What is indisputable also, is that Scripture tells us numerous times to not be afraid.
Who will we listen to, our fear or our God?
6. Serve Someone
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)
Unlike the absent lover, other people still exist in your life on Valentine’s Day. Those are people worthy of serving. Spend time asking God prior to Valentine's Day if there’s something you can do for someone. Maybe there are other singles you can get together with and hang out for some quality time. Maybe you can find a way to serve your parents or other relatives. Maybe deliver candy or cookies to a widowed or elderly neighbor.
There’s always someone to serve. We just have to be willing to do it.
A Contented Conclusion
Sooner or later, as we age and become wiser, we come to an important realization - there’s always something that we want. The desire could be for a relationship, a new job, children, a new house, something. We can try very hard to attain this thing, but we don’t always get what we want. However, God will always give us what we need. Sometimes the two don’t align. Whatever the case may be with our love lives, Valentine's Day is not the end of the world. It’s another chance to serve, love, and worship.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/AaronAmat
Aaron D'Anthony Brown is a freelance writer, hip-hop dance teacher, and visual artist, living in Virginia. He currently contributes to Salem Web Network’s Crosswalk platform and supports various clients through the freelancing website Upwork. He's an outside-the-box thinker with a penchant for challenging the status quo.
Get in touch with him at aarondanthony.com and check out his debut short story anthology Honey Dreams on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.