Valentine's Day Is for Singles: Practical Ways to Not Feel Lonely
Love, love, oh love is in the air. It is the second-most wonderful time of the year when couples across the nation are planning to express their love for each other. Yep, you guessed it, Valentine's Day. On February 14th, flowers will be delivered, chocolates will be exchanged, and reservations will be made for a romantic evening in the town. While this day is set aside to celebrate the love of couples, I think we often miss the bigger picture of Valentine's Day, which is a celebration of love. Love is an action that is not limited to Valentine's Day, nor is it limited to couples. It's a selfless act shown to others without the expectancy of anything in return.
For singles, Valentine's Day can represent a time of loneliness because of the absence of a romantic relationship or even just the existence of a romantic celebration. However, singles must realize that Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love because everyone deserves to be loved and celebrated. For many singles, I believe the anticipation of Valentine's Day is what adds to the hysteria of the day in addition to the day itself. With the advertising of gifts, romantic dining, or other romance-centered activities, the mental notion of possibly not receiving gifts or not engaging in Valentine's Day activities with a romantic partner can dampen a single person's outlook on this day.
So, this year, as Valentine's Day approaches, take some time to prepare your hearts, minds, and spirits for spending this day of love solo. Before the day arrives, remind yourself that you are loved 365 days of the year. Here is how this can be done.
1. Remind yourself of love.
Take some time to read Bible verses of God's love for you and be reminded of what love is. 1 Corinthians 13 gives us the characteristics of love that we should demonstrate to others and ourselves. It's important to understand that love isn't a self-centered emotion, but a selfless act that should be expressed daily.
2. Take time for prayer and fasting.
Beginning now, take some time for prayer, asking God to fill your heart with His love, remove any bitterness about love, and guide your thoughts about this day. Pray and ask God to fill you with His love this day and every day. Ask God to show you how to love yourself with His love. Ask Him to show you who to give love to on Valentine's Day and every day.
3. Show others love.
Valentine's Day is about giving and receiving love. However, many people focus primarily on receiving love for themselves. While there is nothing wrong with this, it's important to remember that love is about meeting the needs of others in some way. So, in preparation for Valentine's Day this year, prepare cards, treats, or other small trinkets as a gesture of love to brighten someone's lonely day. You can also invite someone out for dinner, or better yet make someone dinner. No matter what you decide to do, make sure it is a gesture of love that will make someone's Valentine's Day meaningful.
4. Don't take this one day to heart.
Many people, single and married alike, take the notion of Valentine's Day personally for many reasons. The primary reason is that they take the meaning of expressing love from the perspective of receiving. This is not what a day of love should be about. So, to prepare for Valentine's Day this year, be intentional with taking steps not to take this day personally because you're single but see it as a blessing to express love to someone else or yourself in some way.
5. Exchange gifts with someone.
If you must receive a gift on Valentine's Day, find someone to exchange gifts with. Purchase a thoughtful gift for someone that will make their heart smile, and one that lets them know they are loved. And no matter what gift you receive, be thankful that someone thought enough of you to express love and kindness to you the best way they knew how.
6. Develop a positive mindset.
Many singles view Valentine's Day as a day designated for couples.This is the wrong mindset to have. This day is designated to express love to one another with physical and material expressions. However, it is only one day of 365, so there is no need to feel sad or discouraged by it if you're single. If we're being honest, love is more than physical expressions from one person to another; it should be expressed daily. So, this year before Valentine's Day, take some time to train your mind to think of it as another day out of the year to give love.
7. Spend time in reflection.
If Valentine's Day or the anticipation of it brings you down, before it arrives take some time to find out why. Take some time to understand why. Look at your past experiences with Valentine's Day, starting from when you were young. Ask yourself were they memorable in a negative or positive way, or how this particular day has made you feel. To take things a step further, you can think about your experiences with love and relationships that challenged your love, or made you feel as though you were not worthy of the love you desire. Whatever you do, make intentional time to dig deep into your heart, mind, and spirit to discover why Valentine's Day has such an effect on you.
8. Don't fall in love with media love.
During this time of the year, the media magnifies the notion of love with movies that show people discovering love within a two hour time span, or flooding social media timelines with quips and quotes about love or walking through stores seeing balloons, cards and candy selling the notion of love. While there is nothing wrong with this, it's important for you to understand that media love is temporary and you deserve more than momentary love.
Singles, as Valentine's Day approaches, make sure you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. Take the steps above to ensure you are loving yourself from the inside out, and remind yourself of the following:
- God loves you. John 3:16 reminds us that God loves us so much that He gave His son for us.
- God is love. 1 John 4:8 lets us know that love is an essential part of God's identity, and as His creation love is within us to have and to give.
- Love should be the center of everything you do every day, not just on Valentine's Day (Colossians 3:14).
Singles, you deserve unconditional love that does not end or begin on Valentine's Day. No matter what is said of you on this day, or if you're feeling overwhelmed with the notion that Valentine's Day is not for you, pray those thoughts away and remember that every day God breathes life into you is a day filled with love. Show yourself some love in the upcoming days before Valentine's Day; that way, when the day arrives, you'll be so filled with love that you'll enjoy the celebrations going on around you.
Originally published January 28, 2025.
