What Is "Anti-Valentine's Day" and Should Christian Singles Celebrate It?

What Is Anti-Valentine's Day?

It does not take the stores filling up with pink and red heart décor or the abundance of chocolate all around to remind us that Valentine's Day is swiftly coming on the 14th. But for some, it is not a day of celebration. In recent years, the rise of "Anti-Valentine's Day" has seen a surge, with some extending the opposition to an entire week of counter-observation. Anti-Valentine's Day is one with snarky shirts like, "Love is in the air, try not to breathe," "Fries before guys," and "Stay away Cupid," and even lament parties adorned with haunting, grief-like practices. There are even certain Zoos that will name a cockroach after your ex for a fee. The Washington Post suggests Anti-Valentine's Day is a symptom of a deeper heart problem, "What drives the black-heart irritation at the holiday isn't superfluous. It's actually quite deep. It's a day that can illuminate big structural problems in our lives and remind us of how dang alone we are at a time the U.S. surgeon general has declared loneliness a public health epidemic."

This begs the question, is this something singles should participate in, or is it only perpetuating a self-indulgent pity party?

What Are Some Alternatives?

There are alternatives to Anti-Valentine's Day and Valentine's Day beyond just counting it as another day of the week. Many women have taken to the idea of celebrating gal-pals with Galentine's Day. Galentine's Day is typically celebrated on February 13th, when the gift of friendship is the focal point, not romantic love. It has become a popular way for single ladies to not dwell on the lack of a mate and instead express gratitude for their gals. Unfortunately, there is not a male equivalent, but there is always hope for a Guyentine's Day to take to trend.

Is Anti-Valentine's Day Honoring God?

When we take a deeper look at Anti-Valentine's Day, we must also ask the question, "Is this really honoring God?" I will be the first to admit that for several years, Valentine's Day was a day I not only rejected but desperately dreaded until I was given a new perspective from the Lord. Instead of indulging in wallowing what I lacked, I realized that Valentine's Day is not about the love you don't have; it is about the love we have been graciously given from God and those we have in our lives.

1 John 4:8 reminds us that "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." If we take on the perspective that Valentine's Day is about God's love, extending love to one another, and the gift that love is, we realize that celebrating something counter to that is not just dishonoring God—it's making an idol of romantic relationships.

Is Anti-Valentine's Day an Idol?

An idol is anything that separates us from God. Although for many, Anti-Valentine's Day is a satirical anecdote, it is important not to let the seed of bitterness take root. Bitterness, resentment, and cynical feelings can become a wedge between God and you. It is important not just to pass off seemingly silly holidays like this, because there is a deeper issue of loneliness at hand. Dark humor is often a coping mechanism used by those who are hurting, and the Enemy preys on those who are vulnerable. He loves to create strife between God and His child. As harmless as it can appear, Anti-Valentine's Day is just like anything else: a tool the Enemy can potentially pervert to tempt a believer to distance from God.

Should Singles Celebrate?

This begs the bigger question: is it wrong for a single Christian to celebrate Anti-Valentine's Day? The real answer here is to do a real, vulnerable heart check-in with the Lord. 1 Corinthians 10:23 gives us a sobering reminder that "You say, 'I have the right to do anything.' But not everything is helpful. Again, you say, 'I have the right to do anything.' But not everything builds us up.'"

When we take an honest look at the motives behind the desire to do something for mockery (in this case, celebrating a counter holiday), we will often find what is exposed is the need for healing in our own hearts. After connecting with the Lord for a heart check, if you find just a desire to express sarcasm and wit, then humor the idea. On the other hand, if what you find is a deeper heart condition of loneliness, depression, or longing unfulfilled, know it is safe to allow God into those places. Let your participation of something not be from a place of pain but a place of having a good time.

Bringing God Our Hurts

Remember that God already knows everything about you, from the way He knit you together to the exact feelings you hold in this very moment. The hidden feelings you feel are not a surprise to God, and you are not the first to feel the aches of singleness. Proverbs 13:12 portrays it as "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

This verse is not in context to any specific deferred hope, but it is certainly one that is applicable to anyone feeling the sorrow that comes from feeling alone. Remember that God not only understands how you feel, but He walks with you in these moments as well. Today's circumstances are not a punishment on you; more than likely, they will change in His time. Offer God your true, vulnerable, and raw feelings and see where He will meet you with His peace, kindness, and presence.

Anti-Valentine's Day is another reminder that in a world of seemingly unlimited connection through the internet, we are not immune to the human desire for true intimacy. So much so that 'Dark Humor Holidays' have been invented to make a joke out of the pain of disappointment in not having a romantic partner. Instead of fostering the continuation of a calloused spirit, consider making Valentine's Day less about what you lack and more about what you have. Extend love to those around you, and offer a word or card of encouragement to friends, parents, co-workers, or people in your community. Consider how much of a difference it would make for you if someone were to shower you with an unexpected act of kindness and then do that for someone else. You will find that love is not just about what we can get, receive, and benefit from but what we can give, too. Remember, above all else, that you have a Savior who loves you so beyond imagination that He died for you and wants to walk with you. His love did not end with the cross; it continued onward. He sees you and is with you, even on holidays you want to ignore.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Antonio_Diaz

Cally Logan is an author and US History teacher from Richmond, Virginia. Her works have been featured on "The 700 Club Interactive," “Jesus Calling Blog,” and “Coffee and Bible Time,” among several notable outlets. She served as a mentor for young women for several years and enjoys challenging women to develop deeper relationships with God and to live fearlessly and authentically. She received her B.A. Degree from Regent University. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time in nature, having genuine chats over coffee, and woodworking. Her new book, The Wallflower That Bloomed, is available everywhere now. Connect with Cally: @CallyLogan Instagram CallyLogan.com 

Originally published February 04, 2025.