Where Do I Find My Worth?

The following is a transcribed Video Q&A, so the text may not read like an edited article would. Scroll to the bottom to view this video in its entirety. 

I absolutely love women in their 20’s and 30’s. I love their freshness, I love their deep seeking. I think there has been a shift in our culture where it is okay to be seeking and searching. I love that I don’t think I’ve met a woman in her 20’s or 30’s who actually thinks that she has together or puts off that appearance of having it together. And I love that, because I feel like we are much closer to getting where Jesus would have us to be once we recognize the reality of who we are.

There are a couple of things that I tend to see women in that age group struggle with. The number one struggle I see is insecurity. And what I mean by that is floundering with where to find their worth and their confidence. Even though they appear to often have it all together as far as “I’m professional, I have an education, I know where I’m going, I know what the right things are to say about relationships and things” but deep inside there is a sense of “I just don’t know who I am”.

The encouragement I always give to these women is that you are a baby adult. You enter adulthood and it’s a wide swath of 70 years of life. And there is this feeling like I have arrived, I should know these things, I shouldn’t struggle still with this or that. But I think in your 20’s you’re a baby adult. You are at the beginning of this stage of becoming an adult. And it’s a beautiful time where God is shaping all kinds of things in you.

I was just with a woman yesterday and she said, “Whew, I cannot wait to be in my 30’s”. And I said, “Preach it, sister. People act like their 20’s is so great. It’s not. You are going through a lot. You are discovering a lot, there is a lot of refining in that time.” Insecurity to me is a place to lean into Jesus because of what he is teaching you about your identity.

I say to women, think about the thing that if you didn’t have it you feel like your world would fall apart. If I didn’t have the kind of job I’m after. If the relationship or the husband didn’t manifest. If I ever just didn’t like how I looked and it’s something I could never fix.

Whatever that thing is when you think “if that happened, I would fall apart” is the place of deepest insecurity and it’s the place where we are most tempted to put all of our worth. And it is one of those things where in your early adulthood is a place to wrestle through with the Lord. Just to say, “I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve always got to be achieving that is a feeling I have.”

Because what is happening is your identity is being wrapped up in that place and He is going to invite you to find your identity in Him, to find your deepest longings met in Him. And how that plays out is often different and is as unique as the women I meet. But it is an opportunity to be invited into a deeper place with Him. It’s not a place to run from Him, it’s a place to lean into. So, that’s why I think it’s understanding where your insecurities come from and where they are the deepest can really lead you to a very deep life with the Lord.

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