Why Am I So Angry?

The following related excerpt is from the article, '5 Reasons You're Frustrated and How to Have Peace,' by Jolene Underwood for iBelieve.com. 

"Here are five things our frustrations might be telling us. When we figure out why we’re frustrated, we can engage with God in a process to see inner transformation, which will produce long-term external results.

1. We aren’t getting what we want.

Many frustrations come from simply not getting what we want. Like a child who doesn’t get the toy they beg for, we often pout and stew over the thing we don’t have. This may include things we want to own, circumstances we want our way, or the way we want others to act. Whatever it is we want, frustration grows when we demand we get it. We want control when things are out of our control.

In order to reduce frustration, we need to honestly evaluate what we want and whether or not we are implementing control to get it.

ASK: What do I want that I’m not getting?

CONSIDER: Am I trying to make things happen to get what I want? Can I let go of what I want?

TRUST: Release control over getting what you think you must have and trust that what God wants is best.

2. We aren’t getting what we need.

Each of us has various levels of different emotional and relational needs, such as security, approval, safety, support etc. We were created by a relational God to need each other, and to be the means of providing these needs for each other. When our needs go unmet in this broken world, we might try to take from others in order to fulfill the longing inside of us. However, God never meant for us to take in order to get our needs met.  

When others fail their part, or when we fail to do ours, it is painful. It’s not a part of God’s plan. Yet, God gives us the option to meet the needs of others anyway. Ultimately, our greatest need is God. While His plan includes earthly relationships to care for our basic needs, our needs can only be perfectly fulfilled through our heavenly Father.

ASK: What need do I have which I am not getting? Am I trying to take from others in order to get this need fulfilled?

CONSIDER: How God might desire to fulfill your need supernaturally through Him. How you might meet the needs of others.

TRUST: Trust that God knows your needs and is able to fulfill them.

3. We have unhealthy expectations.

Sometimes we are frustrated because others don’t meet our expectations, such as when we expect a child to perform a chore in the way we believe it should be done. When they don’t meet our expectations, we get frustrated. We also experience frustration from not having communicated our expectations clearly, or getting agreement from others about what those expectations should be.

In addition, our expectations may need to be lowered in order to see incremental steps towards an end goal, rather than expecting ourselves, or others, to jump from beginning to end. We need to recognize that goals are not the same as expectations.

ASK: Have I communicated my expectations clearly? Do others agree with my expectations? Are my expectations reasonable?

CONSIDER: Reevaluating expectations in light of the needs and wants of others. How an expectation may need to be lowered in order to achieve a goal.

TRUST: God’s wisdom to reveal needed adjustments to expectations. God’s ability to fulfill what is truly necessary."

*To read all 5 reasons click here to read the full article, 5 Reasons You're Frustrated and How to Have Peace.*

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